What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops