What did the blonde say to the man when he asked her what time it was? 6:34 pm

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why was tommy so sad?............because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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I dont hate you Lets just say if you were on fire and i had water id drink it

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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Two guys walk into a bar. Whoops did I say bar? I meant Hiroshima 1945. They got radiation poisoning and died slow painful deaths.

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why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

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What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

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Why did lil' Jimmy fall off his bike? The weight ratio between the left and right sections of his body became uneven due to some sort of change in the traction of the tires to the bumps on the road/ path.

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

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Why are you on anti joke? Because your not funny enough to make your own jokes

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How many walls can you paint with a baby? Depends on how hard you throw it.

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Why did Sally's Ice Cream melt? Sally was on Fire

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yomamas so fat it made Ben kanobi say thats no moon thats yo mama!

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I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

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Why couldn't the kid eat candy? He had diabetes, so he could put himself in danger and possibly result in death which would leave the family torn apart and all committing suicide in a matter of 10 years.

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Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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