hi my name is matt mckeon and i like renata saggy tits !!!!!

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What do you get if you have a bundle of children's clothing, some moisturising cream, a gas mask, a lollipop, more candy and a bag? A disguise.

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Tip for Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the resumes into the bin.

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whyd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side :)

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What did Helen Keller's parents do when they were displeased with her behavior? They beat the shit out of her.

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A man took a police officers gun and threw it at a baby in a stroller. He went to jail.

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What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

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What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

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What did the chicken say after crossing the road? Nothing.It's a f*cking chicken.

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How do you get a clown off a swing set? You throw an axe at his head when he's not looking.

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Why did Juan cross the border into America? To provide a better opportunity for him and his family.

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What's worse than a gay joke? Their emotional repercussions, leading to a lack of self-esteem, which eventually drives the homosexual to commit suicide, leaving behind a now destroyed family.

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Why did the burrito taste bad? It's a giraffe.

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Quick ladies take off all your clothes the cloth stealer is coming Oh yyyaaaa

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Why was a member of the KKK laughing at another member who was his friend? Because he had just divorced his black wife who he recently found out that he had received AIDS from.

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how do you beat up 3 year old with ease? you beat her up, 3 years can't fight for shit.

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Yo mama is so fat , she died of a heart condition

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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The elephant and the mouse was gonna go swimming at the lake, but they realize the Elephant forgot his swimming trunks! Mouse: Do you really need two trunks? Elephant: Oh well I can do with this one... but its not a swimming trunk! Mouse: Huh? Moral: Huh?

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SHINEE IS BACK PART HARD

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What did the lady find when she walked through the door? Her husband stabbing himself to death because she ate his cornflakes

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why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why was the little girl happy? because she found an icecream cone

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Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops