What to you call a heavy person, Someone overweight

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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Why did the kid get out of school at twelve? He left early with a stomach ache

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A man walks outside and walks back in. Why? Because it was raining purple unicorns and he felt the need to go back inside.

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How do you turn a frown upside down? You cannot do such a thing because frowning is the act of sadness. Therefore you cannot nor should not change a persons attitude.

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Q:How do you know if you have a big enough oven? A: If the jew fits

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If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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What does Mr. Newell have? - Diabetes. Mr. Newell has diabetes.

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why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

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Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear was the one who started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would have

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ur dug has tits <3 from Alec Bamford xxxxxxxx<3<3<3xxxxxx QAHS 4life

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What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

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The Detroit Lions

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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Why was the black girl happy? She got a raise.

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What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

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Why don't people like this joke? It makes no sense.

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2 Penises

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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