How do you call a gay that is playing poker with friends You say "call" and place the right amount of fiches on the table, at that moment you are still in the race to win the pot.

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what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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What is small, naked and covered in sperm My son

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An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

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If a man is alone in the woods and there is no one there to tell he's wrong is he right? If a tree falls on a women.... Before we tell the rest why was there a tree I the kitchen?

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what do you call a kid in a wheelchair? . handicapped.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? Nothing.

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? He was Happy

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One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The entire population.

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Why did twenty mexicans run down a hill? There was a marathon in the area.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a women. Why can't Stephen Hawking speak freely with his voice? Because he's autistic.

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How do Mexicans have sex? They get in bed, and the man puts his dick in his partner's vagina.

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Whats black and cant read white paper? An African

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What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

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You are so ugly that when u were born, your mom was unable to breast-feed you because she would have to look at your face to do so.

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They say once you go black, you never go black. But clearly they weren't referring to Nigel, who had an average-sized penis at best.

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Why is Kony so mean? He used to date your mom.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the little child orphan with no arms or legs get for christmas? CANCER and for his birthday A.I.D.S. R.I.P little orphan

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If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

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A horse walks in a bar. The barman asks: "Why the long face?" The horse replies: I have aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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