If you are floating down main street in a canoe and your front right propeller falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones

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a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

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What's funnier than one anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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Chuck Norris doesn't swim... He never learned

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Q: What did the Rapist say to the Little girl before they got in to the Van? A: Get In the Van

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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I was going to tell a Holocaust joke, but I Jews not to. Anne Frankly, it's disrespectful. I'm sure you did Nazi that Hitlerious anti-joke coming.

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What is a life without options.... an optionless life

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Actually it is,how may i help you?

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Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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Your mom is so poor, she can't afford nice clothing.

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Four men were walking, and three of them walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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What is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Your at your local street corner and find a woman, the fact that she has balls dose not stop you from inviting her into your car.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

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If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Personally, I'm a peaceful person. I'd let Hitler figure it out.

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Q: Why's everyone afraid of Friday the 13th? A: Justin Bieber's movie comes out.

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What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

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Why did the plane crash. its pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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