Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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A vegetarian walked into a butcher Luckily he realized where he was and walked out!

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roses are red violets are blue i have alziemers what are we talking about again

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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What is the last digit of Pi? Pi is an infinite decimal sequence, and therefore has no last number, but if it did, it would presumably be somewhere from 0-9.

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why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

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A: My dog has no nose! B: How does he smell? A: He cannot smell, because he has no nose.

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Who you gonna call? Gobstoppers

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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What's hotter than a hot girl? The sun.

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knock knock come back later i'm taking a shower!!!

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Why is my penis so damn small? Cause the good lord made me that way

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

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What's worse than a Wasp at a picnic? Two wasps at a picnic. What's worse than two wasps at a picnic? A serial rapist. What's worse that a serial rapist? Three wasps at a picnic.

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http://richardfigures.com/

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What did the engineer say to the supervisor? Hi.

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How did the magician make his assistant disappear? He killed her and then cremated her body

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how do you get a clown off a swing? hit him with an axe

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

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Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like to rhyme Microwave.

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What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops