Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a tumor Doctors give it 6 weeks before I die...

whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

Hum... I am actually a redhead... Which is so strange saying to anyone including myself, I dye it like constantly.

There are two types of people in the world: humans

Why couldnt the boy poop? Because he was staring right in his eye.

What's the difference between a tomato and a rhinoceros? Neither of them can ride a bicycle.

How do you drop a raw egg on to the floor without cracking it? Any way you want, it is very hard to crack concrete.

What do you call Eric Torres A furnace magnet

knock knock whos there the game _______I LOST THE GAME_______

One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

A horse walks into a bar. He was blind.

A white man walking dpwn the street finds a brief-case with a timer on it. A young muslim man says he dropped it. The white man then asked "What's the timer for"? The young man said, "Nothing really, just helps keep the time." They both went their separate ways.

What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

What do you call a group of jews hiding in an attic? Well, this sounds very similar to the events during World War II in which Anne Frank and various jewish refugees hid from the Nazis.

what is a bike without wheels? not a bike.

So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

Knock, knock. Who's there? I. I who? I broke my dick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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