Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Hit by a bus Why did the bus driver drop his coffee? He hit the boy

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a police woman who shaves her pubes? PC Marion Jones

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a professional gamer cry? You burn his house down.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey! Got any guns

thumb_up thumb_down +13

if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? if a tree falls in the forest and it falls on a mime, does anyone care?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do a tree and a boy have in common? They both cry when you hit them with an axe... except the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What do you call a half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building? A: A half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make an electrician cry? You cut off his friend's penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Me: You want pie? You: Yeah what flavour? Me: Pie flavour.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage..

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What was the pirate movie rated? Pg-13

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A mouse sniffed a peice of cheese. It was on a mouse trap and then it died in the trap.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

poop

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call a drunk person? By his or her name and call him a cab

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Theres a monkey that walks into a bar. I forget the rest of the joke but your moms a w****

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

josh roberts got the d in geog

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Blarg, with ritalin everything tastes like cardboard, but on the bright side I can taste, lucky me I am so handsome the ones that attacked us did not want to ruin "my pretty face", so I just got a few cuts before I broke his, they never see a steel fist arriving you know... Listen, you are wrong, you gotta think less about me, and much more about yourself, you feel like you should worry more about me emotionally, but worry about your feelings more despite that because I can more or less hear your body saying "please take care of me", I mean I can more or less hear the urges and needs of women, thats why I am so good around them, I dont put them in a trance "vampire style" i just make them feel safe around me because it is safe around me, I am safe at all times because I am who I am. Listen, worry about your needs, turn of all mental alarms, I can sense (I dont know how, Richard Bandler put that into me) that you are in lack of sleep, food and sleep (I can sense it now, you havent slept well since you thought I was dead, it makes logical sense, it always does, its not magic, its the human potential unleashed) So take care of yourself, turn of your body`s needs one by one, shower, eat, drink (eat something good), and if you are at the couch, go get a pillow and lie down, this is about you, because I cant feel well if those I love and care about dont feel well okay? Please allow me to sleep easily and try getting some sleep yourself even if my guys are 15 minutes away. Let me know that you feel better.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops