Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

What's the difference between a cat and a banana? Bananas don't scream as much when you peel them.

Whats the similarity between a rabbit and a grape? There both purple, except for the rabbit.

Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

Why did the car stop? The driver had a stroke

Why did Billy start crying? Because he was abandoned at a young age- and was bullied since childhood in the orphanage.

Knock knock Who's there Your son and his vagina.

Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

What do u call a man with no arms and no legs and is laying in front of a door? Matt

Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

OK. so a guy walks up to another guy and says hi. The other guy said nothing. The other guy said hi again. The guy said nothing The guy got really mad and slapppeed him across the face. Finally the man said PURPLE RABBID COMPUTER TREES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and walked away while liking his blue brick.

Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

Sticks and stones may break my bones.

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A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

If at first you don’t succeed, you clearly weren’t the right person for the job. We’re sorry, but we’re going to have to let you go; please collect your belongings and vacate the premises immediately.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It can never be certain, as chickens are incapable of communicating.

What do you call a larger individual having intense sex with a smaller individual? Rape.

Q. what do you call a black guy? A. N IGGER

When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

Jaden McMichael

Roses are orange Violets are grey I love penguins Damn Jews

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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MOAR??

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