The Olympics

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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Mexicans are like waffles

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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Yes.

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

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A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor? -Cody Williams

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A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops