If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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4 is half the number 8 is.

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How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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whats long black, eight inches and sometimes has white on the tips of them? a black mans foot the wears an eight inch shoe.

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what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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Jews...

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why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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