Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

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why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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