Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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Mexicans are like waffles

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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