Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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America

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

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What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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