Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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Who has the biggest cock A rooster

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

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The Bible

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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^that joke's not funny

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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