Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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400 asian people walked in a bar

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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