What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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How much wood would a woodchuck chu... Forget this, this is overused.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

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donald................duck for president

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What do you call a mother who is also your aunt and a father who is also your uncle? Incest

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Roses are black Violets are white I'm colorblind

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What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

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What's black and crawls around on eight legs? An octopus that just inked itself.

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Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

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The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

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Nobody likes you ya noob! (-_-) *sniff* MAN YOU SMELL BAD

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What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

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Knock knock Who's there? A penguin A penguin who? Just kidding, a penguin could never survive in this climate, I'm mark and was wondering if I could give you an estimate on some new siding

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why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

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Why did the little boy drown? He was stapled to a whale.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Nothing, fish can't talk and it died on impact.

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cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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