What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

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What smells like peanut butter but looks like a penis? A penis, I lied about the peanut butter.

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Whats worse than an oompa loompa a black midget

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A women president

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

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How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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how do you make old people hate eachother? put them in a night time psychology class

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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ask me if im a tree! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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i can't stand cripple jokes

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What happened to the white girl who dropped her ice cream? She bought another one.

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rosses are red voilets are pinkey your mams pussy is really stinky

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Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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What is the answer to number 7 on the test? Time for you to get a watch.

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what do all 21 year olds have in common? there all 21

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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