What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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What has wings and can't fly? What has legs and can't move? What has mouth and can't eat? A dead bird on the road

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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A Jewish man walked into a.............................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................car

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There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

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There's a black guy and a white guy standing in a bar, surprisingly the black guy doesn't die. This isn't a racist joke.

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A boy was crying. He had been abused and beaten by his parents, and thrown in his room. He was devastated, and wanted to kill himself. He tossed and turned in bed, and moaned himself to sleep. When he awoke, he felt a chill up his spine, noticing that all of his blankets had been torn off of his bed, leaving only him and his mattress. He open the window, and jumped out of his three story building. Luckily, his bedroom was on the first floor. He ran away, and found a rich family that loved him so much until a week later, a murderer came and killed everyone, including him.

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Why didn't the caterpillar turn into a butterfly? Because it was a cheeto

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house..... It's ok he hasn't either.

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What's the difference between an orange and a dead baby? One is a popular citrus fruit commonly grown in Florida, and the other is a horrible tragedy, possibly caused by miscarriage or a serial killer, who was hopefully immediately jailed for his actions.

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Biggest lie ever; "I have read and agree to the terms of service".

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What's the difference between a plum and bunny? They're both purple, except the bunny.

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How do you get pikachu on a bus? Rape his wife and point a gun to his head and tell him that he'd better get on the damn bus before you shoot him. Btw sorry if I just double posted. I am on an iPad at school.

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men's rights.

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Once upon a time, there was a man. He was black. The end.

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What is James Miller's real name? James Miller.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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So this blond chick walks into a bar, and orders a drink.

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(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts. whats worse than 2 holocausts? i rotten banana. whats worse than a rotten banana? 2 rotten bananas.

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Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a psychopath, that's why.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops