Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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-Wanna hear a joke? -Not really -Oh

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Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

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What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

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Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

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Why did the blonde become a cannibal? Because she got hungry.

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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Why did the black man have lots of money. He studied hard at school and got into a good university. He dedicated 5 years of his life working relentlessly and getting his diploma in medicine then went on to work in a private hospital as head doctor and neuro surgeon. He was very successful in his specific field of medicine. That didn't work out so after quitting his job and realizing he had wasted over 7 years of his life achieving nothing but lose of interest in his career. He then bought a lottery ticket and won 8 million dollars.

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Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

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A young boy walks into a bar and asks for directions or a map. The bartender takes him into a backroom and gives him a map he just happened to have. The boy continues on his way and the bartender is happy that he did a good deed.

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What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the situation -Tag

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Pi = Pie, something everybody likes.

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When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

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Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

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4 black people in a car drive of a cliff. the sad thing is there was a extra seat.

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Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

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Cancer.

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they all can run jump steal and shoot

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i jack off in the school bathroom #yolo -toby limbers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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