Why is 6 scared of 9? Selena Gomez

Justin's hair

Do you want to French kiss? What are you, racist

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

Why did Old Man Robert fall down the stairs? Someone kicked him down. And then he died.

What's the difference between a rhino and a house cat? They look way different.

Penis

What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

Whats the difference between a horse and a snake? A snake is poisons, a horse is not.

How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

Is your plant made out of Osmium, Molybdenum, Silicon and Sulfur? Because it's going through OsMoSiS. That was just a joke, not a pick up line. Unless I was giving a pick-up line to your plant, which I definitely wasn't...

Justin Bieber walks into a bar. -sensored-

One day a man was really horny and wanted to bang his wife that night, so he took soom horns and banged them against her skull until his wife bled to death. He was later sentenced for homocide and to this day has been in prison

Why was the cook arrested? Tax evasion.

What is the difference between a blond and a red-head? They have different hair colors.

Why did the squirrel cross the... *Squash*

"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

What do squirrels and Justin bieber have in common? Everything.

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What is scary? Obama might get reelected.

What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

A Mexican, A Caucasian and An African American walk into a bar. Suddenly, a rival of the African American's pulls up in a used Chevrolet and shoots him 6 times with a semi-automatic handgun. The Mexican and Caucasian are distraught and call 911 immediately. The rival is later arrested and found guilty of murder in the first degree by a jury of his peers. Less than 6 months later, the bar is closed due to the negative stigma surrounding the shooting. Urban life is a harrowing and tough experience that most outsiders will never fully understand.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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