Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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if life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians

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The Holocaust.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back. And 6 million in the ashtray

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"knock knock" "Come in"

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What number comes after 29? 30.

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Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

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Penal Dysfunction

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nothing. Earlier that day his vocal chords were ripped out by an angry chimpanzee. He will never speak again

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jack shine and keiran = nate robinson

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Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

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Why are small clowns and baby's alike? They both dreadfully die when hit in the face with an axe!

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Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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What's a worse feeling than an upset stomach? Seeing a child getting molested and not saying anything.

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how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

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Why did the kid kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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what did the mom with cancer get for christmas? radiation poisoning

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Q:What Did The Man Say When He Lost His Body A:Nothing He Die. Because If You Ever Lost Your Body You Would Die...

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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