What do you call a cow climbing a tree? Amazing. How many cows have you seen climbing trees?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the Mexican man jump to the floor? He had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: why do irish people like swimming A: because it's fun

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A Jewish man walks into a grocery store. He purchases the items he needs and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How did Princess Diana cross the road? Through the windshield

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What do you call a ginger with no soul? A: Common

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between 6 and 7? 1.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the woman fall off the skateboard? She hit a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The last time Jesse saw his **** was the day..........oh wait it's never happened

thumb_up thumb_down -9

your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's black and white and red all over? Two biracial gay guys boning a can of paint...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

do not read this(this is intended to be read)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What kind of jokes to dairy farmers tell? Corny jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Lil Wayne

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the koahla fall out of the tree? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A thin man walks into a Grocery Store. He trips, hits his head and is killed instantly. There are several children present and they are scarred for life.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops