how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Kim Kardashian got a job.

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WHat did Helen Keller get for Christmas? an ipod

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What is green and looks like Grass? A painting of grass

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Why did the 16 yearold pregnant girl cross the road? To get to the abortion center

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Q:whats comes back to life and says RAR A;jesus

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How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

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your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

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sit on your hand until it goes numb and then touch yourself.

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You know what they say about men with big feet? Big penis.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, I am color blind.

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Why are Asians so good at mathematics? Practice.

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"Did you eat your veggies?" asked the shark, sarcastically.

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A married couple lies in bed, making out. They must really love each other.

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What's the opposite of stupid? diputs

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What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

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Cleveland winning something

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Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

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Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

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A blode takes a trip to her favorite restaurant. She arrives safely. After consuming a delicious meal she dies of cancer.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops