What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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What do you call it, when a jew makes fun of a black guy? Racism.

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops