Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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Skinny people fart less.

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Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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what did the guy say on friday ? ah man im so glad its not monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday he then threw a horse at a plane while moonwalking on a star that was riding a duck that was on a rabbit. Sir jumpalot was working overtime as he had to pay for a free phone

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Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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Knock knock.. Who's there? Breaking. Breaking who? Im breaking up with you.

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

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Katniss: Don't worry Prim, your not getting picked for the reaping this year! Effie: First Tribute, Primrose Everden! Katniss: Oh sh*t.

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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A man walked into a bar. He left in a body bag.

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family...

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops