Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

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What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get slaughtered.

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

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What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops