What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

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how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

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What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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A horse walks into a bar and sits down on a stool. He orders a beer. He drinks his beer and leaves. Life continues on as it was.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops