Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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Do you play piano? No

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Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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What's just not right? Left

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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