I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

rarw

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

Tall asians

They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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