Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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The trick to making a good anti joke is having anticlimactic ending.

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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