What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

Hey I Just Met You , And This is Crazy But Don't Text. My Phone Cuz You Stalk Me Daily #Taste_MyCarmel

whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

^ That's not even funny ^

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

A blind man walk in to a bar... He then yells a 4 letter explative, backs up, and walks around it.

What's the difference between celery and a truck?

Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

What do you call a bunch of whiteguys running down a hill? An Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill? A Mudslide What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill? A Jailbreak

Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

A Chinese, American, and German were all on the a boat sinking off the Border of the U.S. So the American called the U.S Coast Guard and they were rescued and taken to a nearby hospital. Two of the three members are still alive today and haunted by the memory of that day.

Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

knock knock. who's there? 9/11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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