Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

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Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

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You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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I'm Polish.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops