How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

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friend 1: Alright man, i got your back friend 2: AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have your test results, You have cancer.

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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Donald Trump

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

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Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops