What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? When they were tossing frisbee and accidentally tossed it into their neighbors yard and they had to go get it.

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

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When the mom came home from work, she was very tired. Her son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She says sure and makes one for him. The boy was very happy and ate his sandwich. I was actually lying above. The mom was actually killed by three men in hoodies that were hiding in her backyard. The came inside and also murdered the boy. Worst of all the killers took all of the food and the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat, Guess it doesn't matter since he is gone...

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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What do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A pilot.

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One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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Whats the difference between males and females? fe

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jim Come on in!

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What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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