What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

- Knock, knock. - Who's there? - Immigration.

why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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