whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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How do you get an elephant in the fridge in three moves open the door, put it in, close the door How do you put an giraffe in the fridge in four moves open the door, take out the elephant, put the giraffe in, and close the door

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

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What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

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One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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Whats 1 foot long and went in and out of my girlfriend? Our new baby

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What's black, white, and red all over? An African American and Caucasian man painting a house with red paint and accidentally spilling some on themselves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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