Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

Children + my basement + my finger = yes

What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

it was all Tagart

some people say that i am gay they are right cause i like boys

An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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