Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

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What is fat and ginger? No...Not Garfield...Rebeka Tims

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We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops