What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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what did the homeless person get for Cristmas? nothing.

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops