Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

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Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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- Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Repeat falls off, who's left? - Pete? - F**k yes.

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

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Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

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A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

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Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

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eat a hot dog

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops