Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

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Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

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What do you callan african american in KFC? A had working american with a average profit, trying to make a living.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops