Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Albert, there is a dead, FLY in your hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

if you have a name/nickname/brand/version or number, please like this anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why was the man sad? His brother died.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

There once was a man from Nantucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Roses are red viloets are blue mw3 sucks and bf3 is good

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Whats the difference between a muslim and a christian? They believe in different things.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What happens when you give a math problem to a blonde? She works through it to arrive at the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I like poop in my butt

thumb_up thumb_down -40

AntiJoke will not let me type this so I will add some spaces. N I G G E R.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops