What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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Why did the kid drop his ice-cream? Because he tripped on a dead guy!

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Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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In my country we don't swim, we drown.

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How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

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What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

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OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

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Women's rights.

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One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

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I'm not one to tell gay jokes So I won't

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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what has two legs and is red all over a fireman doing his job

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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Why does the chicken cross the road? 4

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

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Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

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Why didn't the girl get on the school bus? It was Sunday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops