what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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What is in your backyard and is stalking you? Corn

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

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Když si to Nikolas ,dejme tomu že Bihary, you know nuseng.. hahahahaha

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

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Roses are car Violets are giraffe this poem makes no sense microwave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops