What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

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A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

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A American seeking into mexico

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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Why was the unemployed dolphin trainer so sad? His life has no purpoise. In an unrelated topic, how is he unemployed id he is a dolphin trainer?

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Charlie Sheen is winning

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What do you call a black man with pantyhose on his head. A white guy in the dark with black pantyhose on his head

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari. A Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

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What do you call man who travels on foot? a pedestrian

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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How do you make your house smell bad? fart

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Just kidding, it's Danny. Oh okay, come in.

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what did the white rapper say to the black rapper? i like your work. to which the which the black rapper replied, thanks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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