"knock knock" "whos there?" "pizza delivery!"

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

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Why did the Europeans colonise Africa Because they couldn't do it themselves

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Q- Why? A- Why not?

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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Why are white people white? I don't know

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How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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why did Susie cry? she got pecked in the face by a goose

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Why did the little boy with hepititess die? his mther drove him into the river!

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a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

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Why did the elephant climb the tree? Because he didn't want to tie his shoe.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a butcher's shop. The priest and the minister each by a pound of pork while the rabbi doesn't because one of the 613 Commandments is that a Jew shall not eat any animal with hooves.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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He was as tall as a 6 foot 3 tree.

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my friend said this website was funny, you know what i said?.... its really not!

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Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

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What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

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What do you call a Black guy who flies planes? A pilot

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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