How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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I like my coffee like my women, without a penis

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There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The Big Bang. -BG_Shank_A

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There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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ure mama's so fat

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why did they bury bin laden at sea? because he died

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yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

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What's green and red? A frog in a blender

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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