Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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