What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

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what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

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Once upon a time there was a king who had a daughter. She eventually grew up and contracted aids got run over by a bus and shit her pants..

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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Q: On a plane, a black man does not grab a bag of peanuts, while everyone else does. Why? A: He has allergies.

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what did one waiter say to the other? were waiters.

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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What did the marshmallow say to the other marshmallow? We are both bananas.

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Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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KNOCK KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? BOO. OH, HEY. COME IN. ....

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Why did the pig jump over the farmer? Because he's a stupid idiot.

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Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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Which is funnier: a sack of coal or a sack of old clothes? Neither is particularly funny.

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I suck at online but have a high gamerscore

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Because he felt like it okay!!! Just let him be!!!

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What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

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Whats worst than the holocaust? What? 6million Jews.

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Whats black and gay? Obama

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The Qur'an

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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What did hitler say to the jacket potato? Your fucked now!

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What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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