What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q.If your have $6.00 and I have a hair cut, how many donkeys are in the paddock? A. Aliens with a hat????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why do leprecon's laugh when they run through the grass? because it tickel's their balls

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the girl say after she got hit by a bus, nothing she was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the little boy get out of the forest? -He didnt, he was devoured by a pack of wovles.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I like my coffee like my women, without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Billy: Hey Timmy, you're so fat your high school picture was an aerial photograph Timmy: Oh yeah? Well you're so fat when you tried to take that photograph the helicopter pilot told you to get out because you're too fat

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are yellow, violets are grey, I'm colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What Did Sally Get For Christmas? A Bicycle

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops