How do you have fun while stuck in traffic? Play bumper cars!

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A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

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So there's this guy, and he's trying to screw in a lightbulb, right? Well, he did it. Hoorah. His wife was proud.

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Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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A Black man walks into the Dentist's office, because he cares about his hygiene.

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A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your grandpa's dead So are you.

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roses are red violets are blue .no one cares about you, your a jew.

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Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

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cchina is communist the USA isnt WHY?

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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what do you tell a black man getting hit by a police baton? that is racial inequality, and you no longer have to take that due to Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is theoretically impossible to read another's inner thought process, but it was probably due to the electric stimulation from the brain to give the chicken's muscles the ability to move.

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my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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what has 52 teeth and holds back a monster? my zipper

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops